Wish
by The Silver Feathered Raven
Summary: A thousand little moments that come from one wish, from one dream. Tenten centric.


"_A wish is something you hope for that doesn't come true."_

_-_Sophia, Neil Simon's _Fools_

* * *

"Lee, stop that. What if you do something wrong and make all you injuries worse?" 

Lee pauses only briefly in his push ups, long enough to smile up at her with his too wide, too happy grin that she's gotten so used to. She knows that if his hands were free, he'd be giving her a thumbs up as well, or doing something like that. "Don't worry, Tenten! Only fifty more of these and then--"

"And then you're going to come over here and take a break, all right?"

Lee gives her a look that seems to say 'you really don't know what you're talking about' in the simple raising of his eyebrows. "Tenten, if I keep doing these, I'm sure to get better! After all--"

"Yes, yes, I know," she says all to quickly, brushing off his words like she so often does. "It's your dream to become a great ninja and surpass Neji. But come on, Lee. What if you...what if you break your bones again, or make the injury to your spine worse, or do something that will generally make your condition worse?" What she doesn't add is that the nurses are getting really fed up with his excursions to the hospital grounds, and that they can be really, really scary when they want to be.

He just smiles up at her again, and Tenten really, really wants to believe that he'll be perfectly fine.

* * *

Tenten jumps nimbly through the trees, following close behind her squad leader. Her breath is heavy, misting the inside of her mask so that beads of liquid collect of her lips. Her calves are aching, and there's blood running steadily down her arm. 

There's a motion from up ahead, and Tenten gratefully descends from the treetops, landing next to the squad leader. She lands in a crouch and stays in that position, hand on the hilt of the sword that hangs at her back.

"How many?" she asks quietly, her voice muffled by the smooth wood mask. It's odd, but her hearts jumping in her chest, and it's got to be because of adrenaline—not fear. How could she be afraid now?

"At least five, maybe more." The answer causes her to inhale inadvertently, too swiftly, as though she actually is frightened. Her eyes flick to the side, up into her captain's masked face. There's no response from him, no emotion—which there shouldn't be, because his eyes and mouth and nose are shrouded by white painted wood.

"Shit," she says, and he laughs softly.

"Yeah, shit." She hears steel grating, and knows that he's drawing that black sword of his. "You ready?"

_No_, she wants to say, because her heart's leaping too fast in her chest, and there's fresh red blood smeared on the white paint of his mask, and they're missing two of their team, and even though she's done this so many times before there are _five_ of them and really, five against two is never good.

And she really is frightened, but she pushes down the wayward emotion, because it won't help her here. At all.

Instead, she nods. "Yeah, I am."

* * *

"What's this, daddy?" she asks, reaching for the rather shiny looking thing that he's holding in his calloused hand. 

Her father laughs, holding the metal object up so that she can see it clearly. "This is a kunai, Tenten. It's what all shinobi use."

"Do you use it?" she asks, eyes wide, staring up at her father. He smiles at her, but it doesn't really seem like a real smile. Cause his eyes look all sad to her.

"Yes, I do," he says, and there's a moment in which Tenten is _sure_ that she shouldn't say anything, because it just feels too strange. Then her father laughs, twirling the—the _kunai_ around his finger.

She watches the metal flash in the light, her eyes following its revolutions as whirls 'round and 'round. "Can I hold it?" she finally says, gathering together all her courage. The twirling stops, and her father looks down at her, and for a moment she thinks he's angry with her. And then his smile is back, and he presses the kunai into her hand.

She looks at it, her fingers curling lightly around it. "It's _cold_."

"It's also sharp." Her father reaches down, rearranging her fingers on it. "See? Hold it here. Then the blade won't cut you."

She looks down at it, frowning. "So...what do I do with it now?" It's shiny, and cold, and sharp, but she isn't quite sure _what_ she's supposed to do with it. She's only four, after all, and her mother keeps telling her that four year olds don't know everything. And she certainly doesn't know everything, since she doesn't even know what to do with this pretty piece of metal.

"You can throw it," her father says, and then catches her wrist before she can. "But not in the house. Your mother would throw a fit."

"Then--"

"How 'bout we head outside, to one of the training grounds? I'll show you how it works."

A grin lights up Tenten's face and she catches up her father's hand. "Okay! Can we go now?"

* * *

Her brows knit together in a frown, and she's not entirely sure that she likes what she's just heard. 

"You're leaving?"

"Yes."

Of course he's leaving. It's a mission, after all. She just...she knows she's not going to get the entire story unless she forces it out of him one question at a time.

"With Shikamaru."

"Yes."

She increases her pace to keep up with him. It's early morning, and she's a bit cranky and a bit sleep deprived. She's not getting enough sleep—she blames all the weapons in her room that need cleaning and polishing, but really, that's all a lie.

"And Naruto," she continues, hoping that she's not starting to annoy him. His face is its normal near expressionless self, and it's not like his _hair_ is going to give her any indication of how he's feeling.

"Yes."

He sounds either really annoyed—possible—or really, really uncaring—more possible. She'd almost prefer the former.

"And you're all running after Uchiha Sasuke, who ran away from the village last night?"

"Yes."

His answers are getting a bit annoying. But then, she supposes her questions are probably pretty annoying too.

"Okay, got it!" Her voice seems a little too cheerful to her own ears. She supposes that she really shouldn't be worrying—after all, it's just Sasuke. And there's going to be a team of—what, five, six going after him? And Neji was going. Neji would be fine.

"Lee's going in to surgery later today, isn't he?" Her head jerks up at Neji's voice. He's not really looking at her, and they're both still walking. She sees Shikamaru and Naruto and Chouji up ahead, and couple other people up ahead.

"Yeah," she says. Her voice is soft, and her eyes flicker downward. Neji glances at her. "I mean, yes. He is."

She glances up, and her eyes meet Neji's. There's a moment, and she swears that she sees a smile flicker across his face.

"He'll be fine, Tenten. After all, he's says he's going to beat me someday. And he hasn't yet."

"What? I—_what?_" Her eyes narrow. "I'm not worried."

"I didn't say anything like that. But he'll be fine."

* * *

Her hair's loose and trailing down her back, soft curls wisping around her face. It's far too hot in the room and there is sweat dotting her face. She's uncomfortable in heels, she's uncomfortable in a dress, and she's uncomfortable with the music that seems far too loud. 

"How the _hell_ did I let you talk me into this?" she hisses at Ino, who seems all too comfortable in her too short skirt and her too high heels. The girl just gives her this sort of smirky smile and slides onto one of the stools at the bar.

"Because you really wanted to get away from all your weapons for a night?" It's not really a question at all, and Tenten only sits down beside Ino because she really isn't comfortable being alone in this sort of situation.

"I don't want to be here," she says pointedly, folding her hands before her on the counter top, making sure that her legs are crossed. "This isn't my sort of place."

"It's _fun_," Ino insists, turning around in her seat and leaning against the counter. "Look, there's dancing and music and some really good looking guys. Honestly, it's not like I'm going to make you get drunk or go home with some guy or something. Just have a little fun, Tenten."

Tenten can't help but glare at Ino. "We're both too young to drink. And don't try to pretend that the reason why you dragged me along with you tonight isn't because Sakura isn't around!"

Ino shrugs. "Sakura's always out on some mission or another these days. If that was the reason, then I'd have _brought_ you here a long time before now. I didn't drag you here."

"This music's going to give me a headache," Tenten mumbles under her breath, her eyes darting around the room. The lighting's giving her a headache, too. It's too dim, and too red.

"_Everything_ gives you a headache." Ino sighs heavily, then stands up. "Look, you can just sit here all night if you want to, but _I'm_ going to go and _dance_."

She slips out onto the floor, and Tenten loses sight of her among the other people.

Wasn't this fun. Wasn't this just so much fun.

* * *

Tenten stares at Lee for a moment, her mouth hanging open in disbelief. "_What?_" 

"It's—I have to have surgery," he says, slowly and haltingly. "It's only got a fifty percent chance of success or something like that, and if it doesn't work I could die. But...but if I don't, Tenten, I have to give up being a ninja."

Her mouth's gone dry for some reason. _What?_ "So..." she starts, but for some reason it's hard to get any words out. "What are you going to chose?"

"I—I don't know." His eyes are downcast, and his shoulders are slumped, and he looks so _defeated_ that Tenten's heart clenches and suddenly it's hard to breath. "I just...I don't...Tenten, what should I do?"

_You're asking me? Why are you asking me? Why? Why?_ She swallows hard and then draws in a breath that seems too unsteady.

"Y—you--" Damn. She shuts her mouth quickly, breathing, trying to keep herself from stuttering. "You should--"

It isn't working. She can't tell him what he should do. She doesn't _know_ what he should do. She just knows that him dying isn't an option. It isn't. Not at all. Not. At. All.

"Lee," she says slowly, not looking at him. "Lee, what would you do if you weren't a ninja?" There's no answer, and she gives a nervous laugh, just to fill up the silence. "I'd probably be working in mom's bakery if I weren't a ninja. Can you imagine, _me. Cooking._ I'd burn down the whole shop. And then mom would start yelling at me and I'd have to work for the rest of my life just to try and pay for a new shop."

"Tenten..."

"And I'd have flour all over me all the time." She talking too fast now, she knows. But she can't really stop. "And that would make me sneeze. So it's probably better that I'm a ninja. So..so..have the surgery. Cause I really can't see you in a bakery."

It all just spills out, and she doesn't even know if it's the right thing to say, and then her heart jumps again and she feels absolutely _sick_. Like she's going to puke all over the floor.

"Just take the surgery. But...but don't die. Okay? Don't die."

There's more silence, and Tenten's really afraid that she's going to throw up. And then...and then...

"Thank you. Tenten. Thank you."

* * *

"Look, daddy!" 

"Oh, well. Isn't that pretty? Make a wish, Tenten. Make it quick."

"Oh, okay. I wish--"

"In your head, or it won't come true!"

"Oh! Okay!"

_I wish I were a great ninja. I wish, I wish, I wish._

* * *

Her arm's aching now, and there's blood running into her eye from a gash on her forehead. Her mask's gone, smashed, ripped from her face, and she thinks that her cheekbone is crushed, but there's no time for her to check. She spins, a scroll winding around her with the movement, and then there's a spear in her hand and she stabs forward with it-- 

The impact jars her arms, and it's only her sheer force of will that keeps her from letting go. But now there's blood seeping down the wood and she pushes forward again and then there's more blood.

Her breath is coming too fast, and her hair is loose. It's sticking to her face, clumping with the blood, and it's really hard to see. She's not sure how it came loose, just that it did. She really should cut it, it's getting far too long--

Her captain's at her side now, pulling her back just in time to miss being hit by—something. She thinks that she's lost too much blood, because she really should know what is going on.

"How many left?" she hears herself asking, but she's not really sure what his answer is. His mask is gone, too, and it looks like there's going to be a new scar on his face, because there's so much _blood_.

"Focus, Tenten!"

She hears him, shakes her head quickly, tries to clear her eyes. "Yes. I know. I--"

Something hits her in the back, and she spins. She thinks it was a knife, and as she spins she swipes out with her own knife, swipes across the abdomen of whoever held the knife that feels like it's stuck between her shoulder blades. There's the sound of ripping material, the sound of ripping flesh, and the man—she thinks it's a man—stumbles back, and she sees more blood, pouring out with guts from a gash in his stomach.

She drops to one knee, breathing too heavily. Her back hurts. Her legs hurt. She can't see anymore, really, there's just too much blood. She rubs at her eyes with one hand, smearing the blood around.

"-nten. Tenten, look at me."

She tries to, but there's still a lot of blood clouding her vision. And hair. She should cut her hair, she should. It just gets in her way.

"How many?" she asks again, because it matters how many are left. She's sure of that.

"None," he says, and Tenten's body sags forward at that. Done. They're done. "Hey! Tenten!"

He catches her before she hits the ground, slipping arms around her, and her head jerks too much at the force of their combined movements. She groans.

"...my back," she manages. "A knife. Can you..."

There's really too much blood. She thinks the knife's gone a moment later. She thinks it is, but it doesn't hurt much less. But it's kind of comfortable resting against her captain's shoulder. Kinda nice.

She feels his fingers at her ear, and then at her neck. "Your radio. Where's you radio?"

Radio? "Slipped. I think. Still have it--" His fingers move under the neckline of her shirt, fishing out the piece of electronics. "What about yours?"

"Smashed," he says. "Your's isn't much better."

"Oh."

There's a sort of beeping sound near her ear, and then her captain's talking. "Team four reporting in. Target eliminating. Requesting medical assistance—dammit, is anyone there?"

There's crackling, and it slices through her head. She squeezes her eyes shut tight, as though it will help make the sudden pain go away.

Her captain's shoulder shakes, and she thinks that he's getting a bit too angry at the radio. Of course, she's sure that they need the radio. And medical assistance sounds very nice.

"Two men dead, two wounded. Repeat, send medical assistance. Tenten, hey! Tenten!"

* * *

She rushes outside, not minding that it's raining. She rushes out, splashing through the puddles, nearly slipping in the mud, but she doesn't care. 

_Why why why whywhywhywhywhy_--

She's out at the training grounds before she can register where she's going, and she kicks at one of the posts, as hard as she can. The wood gives only a little, and then there's just a sharp pain that lasts for only a moment.

_Whywhywhywhywhy_--

She reaches into the pouch that hangs at her waist, pulling out several kunai. She only takes a moment to aim, then lets each on fly in turn, at the old, worn out targets that are already filled with chipped holes from her other days of practice.

_Whywhywhywhywhywhywhylnejinowhy--_

It's not quite enough, even after she's used up all her kunai. She tears a scroll from her waist, flings it open, releases the weapons that it holds. She takes up one in her hand—a spear, the hand grips smooth from prior use—and spin. Twists. Turns. She just wants to—to--

_Why? Why does this have to happen to him? Why?_

She jumps, turns in the air, crouches down on the ground as she lands. It's like there are a million invisible enemies around her, and if she's able to kill each and every single one of them, he'll be all right.

_Not him. He was supposed to be all right. He wasn't supposed to_--

One of the Sound, they said. Spiders, they said. Venom and projectile weapons and bloody holes in his abdomen.

_Nonononononononono--_

She trips a little, the tip of the spear digging into the damp earth. She jerks it upward, spraying her face with mud.

_He'll be fine now, won't he? There are medics with him right now. They'll get him fixed up, won't they?_

She falls, rolls, springs upright, drives her fist into the wooden dummy, ignoring the force of the impact. Then she kicks and kicks and kicks again and drives her spear forward like it can cut through anything.

_Not Neji. Not Neji. He's got to be all right. He's got to live. He even said that Lee had to beat him, right? And he's got to be alive for Lee to beat him. He's got to._

There was blood on the hospital floors. His blood. Lots of it. She thought. She saw him, she had. White and pale, with medics in white rushing on each side of him.

_Please, no. No. Nonononononono._

She drives the spear into the ground, and falls.

She's glad it's raining.

* * *

"You all right?" 

"Hmm?" Tenten looks up, startled out of her thoughts by the voice. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

There's laughter, low and deep. "I asked if you were all right. You looked a little...out of it."

"Oh." She glances around. There's still music, still dancing, and she can see Ino dancing with some man who looks to be a bit older than her. "I just...I'm fine." She glances over at the speaker and is surprised to see a man who looks to be—well, he looks to be one of the older ninjas. Or, rather, one of those around Gai-sensei's age. Maybe a little younger looking.

"Do you mind if I join you?"he asks, and Tenten shrugs. He sits down beside her, leaning on the counter. He's defiantly a ninja, she can tell by the ragged scar that runs down his left cheek, disappearing below his shirt collar. "Namiashi Raidou," he says in way of introduction.

"Tenten," she says absently. The music is still too loud, and her head is starting to hurt.

"Just Tenten?"

"Mhm." She sips at her glass of water, wishing that Ino would hurry up so that they could leave. She supposes that she _could_ leave now, but she's not sure that Ino's going to to not do something stupid.

There's a moment of silence—at least, in which the two of them are silent. The room is certainly _not_ quiet. Not at all.

"I remember you," he says after a moment. "From the chuunin exam a few years back. The weapons kunoichi."

She glances over at him. "Yes, that would be me. I'm sorry, were you one of the examiners?"

He laughs again. "No, no. One of the body guards to the fifth."

"Oh." Oh. So her second chuunin exam. The one she actually passed.

"So, do you always use a large selection of weapons when fighting?"

"Hmm?" What? "I—I try to use one or two. I mean, I used to use a variety. And I try to be proficient in all of them—I mean, as many as I can. But—no, I really don't use all that many."

"Ah. Interesting."

The music was still really loud, and Tenten was still really uncomfortable, and her words were just sort of tripping out of her mouth. It was rather embarrassing, really. But then...

When talking about weapons, things became easier. Much easier. And then it became much easier to talk to him, in general.

* * *

She blinks. Once. Twice. Her eyesight blurs, badly, and and she thinks that blinking may make it better. 

It's very white around her. Very, very white. She's lying in a bed, she thinks. A rather uncomfortable bed. And her head hurts.

Someone's holding her hand, too. She flexes her fingers in whoever's grip it is, and feels the person jerk slightly. She glances to the side, her eyes finally focusing.

"Tenten. You're awake."

She can't help but smile, because he looks like a mess. His hair's all tangled, and there's redness to his normally white eyes, and she can swear that there are the beginnings of dark smudges under his eyes.

"Hi, Neji," she says. "I guess I'm awake. I suppose that means I'm alive?"

"Of course you're alive. Sakura got out to you in time and managed to stop most of the bleeding. At least that's what they've told me."

She smiles again, because he actually looks frustrated. "Sorry for worrying you."

"I wasn't worried."

"You were. You were really worried, weren't you?"

"Be quiet," he growls, but it doesn't really sound all that threatening. "You just about nearly died. You shouldn't be making jokes."

She still smiles, and she thinks that her mouth might start hurting soon. "I've got to make jokes. After all, who's going to, if I don't? You?"

He doesn't say anything to that, and Tenten lets her eyes slide shut again. He's there. She's all right. She'll sleep now.

* * *

"All right! Now, what are your dreams, ambitions, hopes for the future!" 

Tenten looks up at her new teacher, ready for her new life as a ninja. She knows just what to say, she knows just what she wishes for.

"I want to be a great kunoichi! Like Tsunade-sama!"

_I want to be a great kunoichi, dad. I'll be a great kunoichi._

_I will._


End file.
